Friday, July 16, 2010

Time Marches On. . . . .

Yesterday Izzy fell asleep in my arms (as she does most every day), but something seemed different, and I found myself feeling quite melancholy.  She seemed so long, and that usually means that she won't be taking naps much longer.  And that usually makes me quite sad, as I love holding my grandkids especially when they are sleeping.  As I looked down at her innocent, angelic face, I was reminded that it just seemed like yesterday that Krissy was in my arms like that.  Krissy was my first grandchild, and I fell in love with her the first time I saw her.  We built quite a wonderful relationship in those first years, and it continued to grow stronger after Bubby was born.  Krissy and I stayed together during his surgeries, his seizures, his helicopter ride to Children's and the following  touch-and-go hospitalization.  And it continues to grow, even now as she comes closer to age 10 and attends her drama camp, softball games, and now cheerleading practice.  She's almost as tall as I, and it's no longer possible to hold her while she sleeps.  And I love her more everyday.

Then Bubby came along.  I fell in love with him also at first glance; but as his problems with infections developed, I avoided going to the hospital to see him.  I was so terrified that he was going to die, and figured that it wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't really know him.  But with God's help and many prayers from friends and people we didn't know, he survived.  I learned to administer his IV meds with the help of a pump, I learned to remove air from a syringe, and I learned to catheterize him.  I never wanted to be a nurse, but a special Christian friend reminded me that "God doesn't call the qualified. . . he qualifies the called."  And my relationship with Bubby became so strong that he had to call me everyday the first time he went to Disney.  And everytime they got onto a bus, he wanted to know if this bus was taking him to Grammy's.  Oh, yeah!   It's a really special  love, and it grows everyday.

But back to Izzy.  She's almost three, loves to "rock-a-bye" which means laying in my arms while I rock and sing to her.  But she's gotten so long that I can barely hold her.  So, I've been laying her down on the couch after she falls asleep.  But yesterday I just couldn't lay her down.  I know that soon she will stop napping, and hoping that she won't stop sleeping in my arms until new new guy arrives.  And then the relationship-building and growing of love will continue with another grandchild.  And it will be just as special in it's own way.  I know that there probably won't be more babies after this one, and I guess I'm ok with that.  But today I'm a little melancholy because time is marching on.


JustCindy said...

Well, that made me cry and brought memories to me. I love holding and rocking my little boys, they are perfect for snuggling and I think God for them.

Pat said...

Awww...what a sweet post...and a bit sad for me, too, as I know there will be no more grandbabies for me now.'s something that might cheer you up......go to my blog and look at my July 16 post. I am having a giveaway of a GO! cutter BUT for those who have a cutter already, if their name is drawn, they will get 3 free dies instead...pretty good, huh?