Today it appears that my days of providing day care for my grandkids has come to an end. It's what I have done for the past eleven years, and I've always been good at it. But this week, an argument, words spoken in anger, and a botched effort to solve the problems are the reasons that Izzy and Jake have been removed from my care and put into a structured day care program. I am deeply saddened, and feel that my life has come crashing down around my ankles. I miss my grandkids, and would give almost anything to have Izzy run in here and give me a big hug and a kiss. But I don't think that's going to happen any time soon. I know what effect this is having on me and I worry about what it will do to them. The holidays are so near, and I don't know how to bring my family back together for what have always been family times.
My wonderful MIL always said that God doesn't close a door without opening a window. I searching for that window. I've never been a quitter, I've always been a survivor, and I'm sure that this time will be no exception. But I need to find something to do with my time. I will go stark raving mad if I have to sit here all day with nothing to do. And you can only use so many quilts. We only have one car and Rod uses it for work. Physically, I am not able to work at a full time job. I used to sell crafts in stores and stopped that when Bubby came into our lives. Yet, these years later, that isn't a realistic solution. I'm debating on selling items on Etsy, and am currently researching that possibility.
Maybe this is the time to concentrate on myself and my health. I'm not an exerciser, but a little movement would be a start. Menu planning and cooking healthy meals are now more of a possibility. For now, I will continue to pray and meditate on what life holds for me as the next act of my life begins.