Thursday, May 2, 2013

R.I.P. Sweet Lady

My wonderful sweet mother passed away yesterday quite unexpectedly.  It was a merciful death, she did not suffer, but went quickly.  And that is what I prayed for.

My mom was an amazing woman, we called her the "Ever ready bunny" because no matter what obstacles presented themselves, she just kept going!  Mom was a cancer survivor -- many times over.  Her first bout with cancer was in the sixties when she was in her thirties.  She was diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer.  And she beat it!

Fast forward to the nineties.  My only sister passed away in 1991 from a pulmonary embolism.  And two years later my dad passed away following a two year battle with infections resulting from surgery. She was never a very loving mother - never said "I love you".  In 1992 Mom developed breast cancer and since my dad was ill and couldn't drive, I was elected to take her to her chemo sessions.  And then we joined the YMCA together.  After Daddy passed, there was just Mom and me.  How could it be just the two of us???  I barely knew her.  But all that changed. We got through everything together with the unwavering support of my dear hubby and my girls. We thought she had beat the breast cancer, but it returned.  And that led to a mastectomy.  And still she kept going!!

After she fractured her hip, we moved her in with us.  It was difficult to say the least.  She was an opinionated woman, and didn't hesitate to voice those opinions.  But at that point everything changed.  We told each other every day that we loved each other. My kids and the grand kids became her lifeline.  She and Bubby became best friends, and played together.  After one of her many hospitalizations, Mom could no longer use her walker and my house couldn't accommodate her wheelchair.  We needed to make other living arrangements for her, and found an assisted nursing facility near us.  We moved her there, and she was so happy.  They provided many activities for the residents.  They did many crafts, they baked Christmas cookies, had parties and picnics, and played games.  It was like her second family.  After she passed on yesterday, Pam and Pat went to get clothes for her, and her housemates were sitting at the kitchen table remembering her and crying for their loss.

My girls are all hurting, but Pam and Pat are having an especially difficult time right now.  They were totally devoted to Mom and her every need.  They took her to her doctor appointments, they did her shopping, they decorated her room for various holidays. Pat told me last night that she doesn't know what she will do with her time now.

This great lady has been such an inspiration for me.  She taught me the true meaning of loving your spouse in the way she cared for my dad when he became ill.  She taught me that many times determination will lead to success.  I've cried so much in the last two days, but find comfort that she is finally reunited with my dad.  As a child, I loved to watch them dance together - truly cheek to cheek.  I like to think that now they can dance everyday.  God Bless you my sweet Mom, and know that you will be missed.


Pat said...

Oh, Linda...I am so sorry for your loss. My mom left us in 1989 and it still hurts to this day, but the good memories due help....and it appears you have many. This was a very nice tribute to your mother. I will keep you and your family in my prayers at this difficult time.

Pat said...

Excuse my typo in the first comment (do...not due). I think your sadness has overwhelmed me a bit as it brought back my feelings when my mom passed.

JustCindy said...

I'm so sorry for you and your sweet family's loss. Maybe in time Pam and Pat can adopt someone at the facility where your Mom lived. I will be thinking of all of you during this difficult time.

Nani said...

{{hugs}} Linda, sending a prayer for strength.

I know that I prayed for it to be quick for my Grandma when she had her last stroke at the nursing facility. It was the hardest prayer I ever prayed. But take comfort in knowing it's also the most selfLESS and loving prayer too.

c. Joy said...

Sorry to hear of your mother's death. May your memories give you comfort. Hugs to you and yours.