On Saturday, I said goodbye to my Mom for the final time in this life. It was probably as good as such an experience can be. I was surprised by some of the people who came to pay their respects - some from fairly great distances. My daughters said it should prove to me that I was well liked and respected, that those people came for me more so than for Mom. I guess that could be true, although I'm not really sure.
Mary's pastor did the service for us. Mom didn't really have a church, and Pastor Brad had seen her in the hospital at different times. It was a comforting service, he's a wonderful speaker. Mary did a wonderful slide show of photos of Mom, and set it to music including two of Mom's favorite hymns. Kristin spoke, and got a few chuckles with memories of Mom. Then, a childhood friend of mine came forward to speak. I was surprised that she was even there, I probably hadn't seen her for at least 30 years. What she shared left my children, and myself, somewhat offended. She spoke about how opinionated Mother had been and about how she didn't hesitate to voice those opinions; about how Mom believed that her way was the only right way. Silly me - I thought you were supposed to remember the deceased kindly, fondly. Or as Thumper would say, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all."
And then she came to the house after the funeral. We had invited those in attendance to come to our house for food and fellowship following the service. Although there were several grannies in attendance, she felt more qualified to offer advice on child rearing, and did so while insulting the new mom that she was addressing. She made Krissy cry when she commented, not so kindly, on the length of her shorts. And then, did a dissertation on how men were all stupid and lazy (while my hubby and one of my sons-in-law were cleaning up). She stayed until everyone else had gone, ignoring my hints that perhaps it was time for her exit, too. My girls commented yesterday that they found it hard to believe we were really ever friends. We weren't really ever that close, and although she asked for my phone number, I realize that we have very little in common. I do appreciate her thoughtfulness in showing up, but certainly could have done without all her opinions. Especially after she eulogized my poor mom for all her opinions! In Girl Scouts we sang a song, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold". I guess in this case the silver is tarnished.
It was certainly an interesting afternoon. Rod got a lawn chair down from the rafters of the deck, and a bazillion dead stink bugs fell out of it onto the floor. Although everyone was saying "Ugh", it was sort of funny. However, in the middle of our little get-together, Rod had to drag out the sweeper. And if that wasn't enough, as Mother Robin was flying into the nest in the rafters with a fat, juicy worm, she decided to leave a small deposit on the head and shoulders of our one neighbor. He handled it pretty well, but after the coleslaw container fell off the table and splashed onto the back of his leg, he left pretty quickly. Not that I could blame him. Still, sharing food and fellowship with friends and family was comforting and healing. R.I.P. Mom, you will be missed.
Have a good week.